Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Stag-gering

In a couple of weeks I'll be going to play Urban Golf which is where you twat a golf ball against a wall inside a building and a computer says "That shot would have gone 300 yards probly - get your putter out". Computers are pretty fucking clever these days, especially at golf.
The reason I'm going to do that is because one of my friends is getting married, and apparently these days it's not de rigeur to just get the groom battered, shave off his eyebrows and kill him - these days you have to go go-karting or paintballing or to Prague. What is so good about Prague - probably not much.
But if you can't beat 'em, make up your own stuff to do on a stag do. Here are some of my ideas. If you'd like to contribute your own I've had some serious words with google so you should be able to leave comments this time. If not I will fully kick the shit out of Bill Gates, even though he's not really the boss of Google, he just should probably monitor what is going on with all computers.

North Korea Weekend

Everyone piles into a plane and flies over to North Korea. Go to pub. Visit red-light district. Go to sex museum. If there are none of those things there (but there probably are) just find out military secrets or something. Go to KFC.

Cosby Show Murder Mystery Weekend

Eveyone piles into a mansion where several actors are dressed in period clothing. On the stroke of midnight there is a "murder". Mrs Ramsbottom has been found strangled to death in this parlour! Who can solve this heinous crime? Only you and your friends, who are all dressed as the Cosby family.

















Who done it? Only you and your friends dressed as the Cosbys can decide

Where's Wally Weekend


Everyone piles into London (or any other major city with a population of over one million) and gets battered. Groom puts on "Where's Wally" outfit and wanders off into the most populous part of the city. Everyone else says they will come and find him later, but they actually just stay in the pub and plays darts/Game of Life.













"Where's Wally? Seriously, it has been sixteen hours and he is autistic."

Star Wars Parkour Weekend


Everyone piles into the streets. Gets battered. Runs around trying to vault stuff and run up walls and jump off medium-sized buildings and do forward rolls. Pretty much like the guy in this video. Except you have to dress as Darth Vader to do it. Penalty for not dressing as Darth Vader: drink two fingers.



Par-cock

Er, I've run out of ideas. Why don't you think of some or something.

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