Thursday, 10 December 2009


MOTHER: Merry Christmas Tommy. Open up your present.

TOMMY: I've opened it. WTF?

MOTHER: It's a Go Go Hamster! Do you like it?

TOMMY: No, it is well gay. I wanted a PS3.

MOTHER: But Tommy, it is the must-have toy this year. Television sa
ys so!

TOMMY: It is cheap and shit. All th
e kids at school will call me a scrubber. You could at least have got me
some nunchuks.

MOTHER: Look at its little pink nose!

TOMMY: I hate you.

In case you've been on the moon for the last month, this is a Go Go Hamster, and you have to buy it for your child this year or you are a bad parent.

Luckily for you it only costs a tenner, you cheap twat a great price particularly in these economically challenging times. On the downside, it might give you cancer (depending on which day of the week you read about it in the paper).
But really, "the must-have gift"? It seems that the media has a rather big say in exactly what parents should buy their kids for Christmas, so with that in mind, I'm off to befriend someone in media and see if they will help me promote the toy I've recently developed: transsexual war figure Action Tran. Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Action Tran. Marketed in America as G.I. Ho

If I don't see you before, Merry Christmas Cubefans!

PS I just want money this year.